Bad Secretary

Boss:
Is it OK if I take the following days off? Tomorrow, Friday, yesterday. Also, today. (Have assumed yes.)

Boss:
Schoolgirl came to window doing a chocolate drive. Put you down for 5 boxes. Don't worry; have already eaten 2.

Boss:
Re: Lunch. Take away shop didn't have vegetarian salad. Got roast beef instead. Also, no bottled water. Got you scotch.

Boss:
Your wife called. Couldn't find you. Told her you were dead. If not dead, please advise.

Boss:
Called Mr. Carmady to confirm dinner meeting tomorrow night. Happened to mention your 'problem'. Now no need to attend dinner meeting.